Coming To Terms

I want to reintroduce myself. Only because, as I lay awake tonight with a familiar creature in an unfamiliar way, (Max is sleeping in my cramped twin sized bed) I have these thoughts run through my head. I have been thinking a lot lately about how I have reacted to things and events in my life. Some I don’t regret and others I think, how has the way I reacted effected my relationships with others?

Specifically the way I treated Copper Harbor. Yes, it was a traumatic event that caused a Little Natalie to be very harsh towards a town and its people. It’s hard to explain to someone who did not witteness what I went through. It’s like, having your favorite toy taken away from you forever, or not getting your flavor of bubble gum from the quarter machines (what are those called?). I grew up from the age of ten hating everything about that town and what it did to me and my family. Did we really know what we were getting ourselves into? Heck no! We learned from all the trials and tribulations of this adventure, some are still experiencing them.

I was recently told by my mother that at one point early on, on this adventure, I confronted her and told her, in a angry fashion, that she wasn’t my mother. Something along those lines. (It also could have been, I want my old mom back) For her it was a turning point, I assume. For some, 10 or 11, to say that to their mom they must have been traumatized. I want to point out that now, my mother is one of my closest friends and I love her dearly and I am blessed by her dedication to her family, near and far, with all the sacrifices that she has made.

Anyways, back to this town. Living there I hated everything about it, people, weather, distance from “reality”, near to no friends (there was one), EVERYTHING. I had my dog and that was it. Getting up at 5:30 as a 10 year old was rough, though I learned to be a morning person real quick. All in all, it was rough for Little Natalie.

I would flash into instant rage over the littlest things. I made sarcastic comments about most people, who would laugh it off but most of the time I wasn’t kidding. A girl who once was into every sport she could do, wanted nothing to do with them. Instead I took to TV and drifted away from my reality. I tried softball for one day and after that I couldn’t do it because the girls who asked me to be their friend on the first day of school up there and then told me I could hang out with them because I didn’t talk, were on the team. Sports were behind me. I took to band for three years, playing percussion was amazing and made me appreciate music and the wonders it can do. I stopped that abruptly because the band director and I didn’t see eye to eye. Go  figure, I get my mother’s stubbornness and ability to stick up for myself.

I am getting way off track. Let me take a break get some shut eye and I’ll continue this tomorrow.. or technically today.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of Little Natalie.


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